I have mixed feelings about New Year’s Resolutions and new year goal setting. While part of me loves the feeling of a new year, and a fresh start - the other part of me is kept up at night with thoughts flying around like a pin ball machine; excited, but filled with anxiety about all the pressure I have just put on myself. I find people fall into 1 of 2 categories in January. The first one calls from the roof tops “hallelujah bring on the new year… this is the year I reach all my goals” and the second one feels “thumbs down on resolutions…I always break them so I am really just setting myself up for failure?” This year I am taking a new approach. In an attempt to find balance between being all in or all out I have created a three-step system to help myself.  I think we could all use more balance in our lives so if you are up for it, here are my top three tips for creating change and becoming our best selves in 2019!

1 - Focus on what you really want

Clear away everybody and everything else (society, friends, your old jeans, the person at the gym who took your body fat % etc.) and give yourself some time alone to think about what you really want. If you realize you don't care about losing the last 5 lbs (you’ll just buy new jeans), you don't really want that promotion at work (you’re happier with the lighter workload and less stress) and reading 12 books a year gives you anxiety (because you can’t even get through one). AMAZING, those goals aren’t for you! Choosing goals based on what we think we should accomplish is one of the biggest reasons we don't accomplish them. Get quiet, get to know yourself and listen to what you really want. Create goals around those desires and set yourself up for success.

2 - Set process goals

We often set outcome goals (run 5 kilometres, lose 20 lbs, get a new job, build my business by 30%) but we forget the process that it will take to get there. While big goals initially motivate us to make changes we become too focused on the outcome and discouraged when we aren’t there yet. Process goals let us celebrate small wins along the way and keep us focused on the changes happening in the present. These goals focus on the daily habits we are creating to support the overall goal. For example, a process goal for weight loss might be to walk for 20 minutes and bring your lunch to work Monday - Friday. Start there and once you’ve got that down layer on. Stop worrying so much about the outcome goal and instead focus on consistently accomplishing your process goal every single week. Before you know it you’ll be well on your way to reaching your goal without even thinking about it.

3 - Bring it to life

We have a lot going on in our heads. We are constantly feeding our brain thoughts, ideas and goals that we may or may not stick to. Once you find out what you really want, set an outcome and a process goal then it is time to bring it to life.
  1. Identify how accomplishing it is going to make you feel.
  2. Write the process goal and the feeling down and put it somewhere you see it every single day.
  3. Say it out loud every single day. “I run on Wednesday night and Saturday morning. I am strong and healthy. My life is balanced and I am in control.”
  4. Tell those closest to you and ask for their support. If your friends know how important it is to you to get up for your run on Saturday morning, they will likely encourage you to get home earlier on Friday night instead of the opposite. When you don't feel like getting out of bed in the morning your partner can remind you how good you always feel after, and offer to have coffee ready when you get home. Our loved ones can only support us if they know how to and they only know how to, if we let them know.

Jordan Comeford is a personal trainer, goal setting coach, wellness expert and speaker. She works with clients 1 on 1 and in small groups out of Fearless Fitness, a personal training studio and she brings wellness into offices through weekly fitness programming and workshops. Jordan teaches people to move their bodies, find health and live their best lives.